Our dog was abandoned as a puppy with her siblings out in Pembroke. The little pack was enticed by food, captured and taken to Sunrise Center Animal Rescue. They were kept in a horse stall for nearly 6 months as volunteers tried to socialize the dogs enough to be put on a leash and walked. As soon as they were able to safely be walked and touched without any signs of aggression, their bio's were put on Petfinder.com for adoption advertisement. This is were I noticed one of Chili's siblings, and contacted the center to set up a meeting. I found out the sibling wasn't ready, but Chili was, so we met, and she seemed calm and easy going, but definitely shy. She easily followed me on the leash and let me pet her excessively...I loved this border collier/Australian cattle and shepherd mix immediately. The next day she came to our house with a volunteer and met the family. She was nervous, but she let everyone touch her and did not show any signs of aggression. We talked as a group about what she must be feeling coming into a new environment, not knowing if she could trust us. It didn't take long for the comparisons to be made about Josiah's homecoming. We talked about how he hid from us when he first met us, and how he had never been in a family, and how he cried every night in his bed for a very long time until he began to trust us. I could see how the conversation stirred emotions in him he had not even thought of. He told us he didn't remember any of it.It was clear our scared dog was giving him a platform to see and feel those things now. He told us that He could "feel her thoughts"...and cried a lot the first 2 days she was with us. We all felt it when Chili would cower and pee at our touch. The loss of what should have been a "normal" childhood. Questions about how her past would form her future. It stirred thoughts in me of reverence and awe of God and His good Sovereignty to put us together...so that now, somehow, by God's grace...we each had a new chance to love and be loved and grow into what He intended us to be.
So often I find myself just looking at what is in front of me. My eyesight is so poor when it comes to the things of God. My imagination is so limited regarding where He is taking us. My worries and concern over my ability to parent kids who will have to overcome great loss and learn to trust in God's provision for a family seem to paralyze me a times. There I am, shaking in my corner, not willing to trust The Hands that can do "immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine".I see how my fear holds back my ability to love. My ability to enjoy. I keep thinking how much I am like this dog...If she could just see how much we love her! If she would relax and just trust, her life could be so full! Can't she feel our desire to give her what she needs? It is so crazy how much this dog has taught us about our own relationships and what God has already done in our family! Looking in the rear view, I can see where we've been. I see God's protection and guidance to bring us into deeper trust and love with Him and each other. If Chili and I could just learn to "come"...we could get the love and reassurance we both need! "Come to me all that are labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" Mt. 11:28-29
