I remember the day I met my friend. She was making her way up to the front of the church. Beautiful woman with a sweet, shaky voice giving her testimony of how the Lord had been working in her heart at the Life Action Summit. It was close to a year ago that my friend testified how God had presented another little Chinese girl to her family as a possible adoption. She was already a mother of 4, two of which had been adopted from China with special needs caused by arthrogryposis. This time, the little girl up for adoption had an undefined heart condition. My friend thought she would bring her photo to the summit to ask people to pray that the Lord would find a family for her. And right there, in the middle of revival, she and her husband felt pressed by God to be that family! After her testimony I went to the prayer room to pray with her. I could not think of anything but....wow...that is a BOLD LOVE. Who would do such a thing? Who could adopt a child that might not live past the flight home from China? What if they gave their whole hearts and lives...and she didn't make it? So many things came to my mind as we began our friendship that night...mostly I thought... I could not do that. I could not risk falling in love with a child that might not live. Nope. I could not do that!
A year later, it's so much easier to see God working and how He knit this baby together for this very purpose...that His glory might be displayed through faithful parents, sweet little sisters, and a bunch of Dr.'s scratching their heads in amazement of how this strong little woman has survived. Can any of us really doubt God is Sovereign when we see how graceful little girls fall in love with each other that never met? Can't we all see how good He is to put this baby with her perfectly made sisters? I was awestruck by her chubby little fingers as I washed them the other night. What the world might see as an impossible hope and crazy love became a neon sign for God's grace in my hands as we washed and I repeated " wash, wash, wash".....she watched my mouth and mimicked the sound. My heart was undone. Thanks to my friend, she made me do the thing I could not do, fall in love with such a risky little stinker!
I often wonder why God asks such big things of us? Why does He give us seemingly impossible situations and people and drama we could never have sought out on our own? Why does He push us beyond what we can bear? I look at the faces of the children God has given me to love. What kind of God puts these kids with the likes of me? Can't He see the difficulties posed by such a match up? Doesn't He get the drama and the hot mix of Asians vs. Caucasian Momma?
There's a little sign on my bedroom wall ...first thing I glance at in the morning....it simply says ....GRACE. It reminds me His grace, His undeserved kindness towards me...It's sufficient to meet these hard demands. His power is made perfect in my weakness. He gets the glory when crazy faithful friends love children that the world see as impossible to fix. He gets praise when Dr.'s say...I think we can help Grace! He gets the honor when we trust in His grace to be sufficient to meet all our needs in Christ. He can and will do MORE than any of us can ask or imagine!The problem is that I am afraid and weak. I ask small prayers and do small things before a very big God.I can't answer the big questions of why He does so many things that we can't understand. I am learning through experience that being bold and loving people in crazy, radical ways has brought me into deeper trust and love with Him than I ever before. He has shown me that His version of love is deeper, harder, sweeter and more satisfying than anything I could ever have imagined. And to that end I have to recommend something....go ahead and get your heart broken in the name of love. You will never be the same. All the things of this world grow strangely dim in the light of His glorious Grace! Thank you Jesus!
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