We've been cracking the whip around here...the ever unpopular discipline required to achieve the hard things we all need is back! The battle lines have been drawn, plans made and the teams have been chosen. Each family member has been given their duties. And there is so much whining and complaining going on it's deafening!
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it". Heb.12:11 I've been saying this verse repeatedly to myself. We are going to make it! We can home school. They will behave! They will grow up to love Jesus! I will get up earlier! I will stop crying so much! I will lose weight and keep my house clean and have a good attitude and pour out love on all those around me!
After 3 weeks of full schedule school, the complaints are lessening. I've stopped going out to the garage to cry. My husband has almost stopped threatening to send them to public school. I've lost 14 lbs but my house is still pretty dirty. We still battle about minor things throughout the day, but it seems as if we are all settling into the inevitable hard work.
I'm waiting to see it. The "harvest of righteousness and peace". I want to see Christ's beautiful righteousness and peace abiding in my home. The problem I encounter is the constant doubt. Am I really being trained by this discipline? Are my kids getting the discipline that produces righteous living and peace that passes understanding?
Just like a dieter's plateau....we seem to get to this same place and then...fall back. We get tired of the hard work and the progress seems to fade. I'm right back in the garage crying, wondering if God really called me to this, or was it just my great idea?
I read on in Hebrews, "Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and week knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (12-15) This discipline of making level paths, living in peace, being holy or set apart...it's so hard! I can't imagine this work with out my husband's faithfulness to teach my boys God's word. We are constantly wrestling with the level of difficulty in raising these boys. We pray that they may not grow up bitter and angry with God for placing them here with us....into a life that strives to be counter culture and faithful to the One and Only living God. And you all know I have weak arms!
I know all of the training and discipline means absolutely nothing if it's under my own strength. If I have not been abiding and resting in His strength I will not produce a fruit of righteousness...just my own weak armed feeble kneed fruit! So I pray today for my household and my friends that we remain in Him. Abide in Jesus. " If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples" Jn 15:7-8. Lord, help me bear much fruit and show my self to be your disciple! Amen.
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